What’s in a Name? – Reflections on Blogging

It’s always been coffee that’s associated with my writing moods… but lately it hasn’t been doing the job in keeping me awake, so tonight, Red Bull it is! I’m listening to the amazing Tracie Chapman, and pondering today’s very interesting blogger meet-up…

I remember when I decided to change my display name to my full name on my profile and on Jordan Planet a little while after I started blogging. I felt it was an important decision, but it was also a bit impulsive… I just thought, to me blogging is some kind of self-edited journalism, and I want whatever I write to be associated with me, I want people to know that these are my thoughts and not some unknown person’s! Later on, I sometimes caught myself subconsciously thinking twice about what I was writing… for multiple reasons related to my identity being revealed! I found this disturbing… but still, I never regret the decision! It does add a lot of responsibility, and that’s a very valuable lesson to learn and exercise on a daily basis. I know the internet has permanent memory, and that googling people will become more and more common with employers, security officers, and God knows who else… yet I don’t feel I need to worry about what I’m saying, I’m taking my chances, and it just feels like the right thing!

We discussed the issue of anonymity today, and opinions seemed to vary. Of course anyone is free to blog under any name they choose, but do we want to have anonymous people in Jordan Planet?? One point Ahmad mentioned and I agree with, is that one of the reasons we have a community like Jordan Planet, is to open a space for freedom of expression… and anonymity contradicts with this concept, in the sense that if you cannot stand up for what you’re saying, then where is the freedom of expression?

Now there are some anonymous bloggers who write wonderfully, and whose posts add value to the planet… but of course you find yourself wondering, would they be saying the same things if their real names were revealed?

I’m not just talking about political blogging here, I’m talking about all sorts of personal reflections, pushing the boundaries in tackling social issues and challenging social norms! Either way, what I feel is that most of the red lines that restrict our expression come from within, rather than from external factors. We limit ourselves, more so when we’re not hiding behind nick names and fake identities. It seems to me that there are always contradicting forces pulling us in opposing directions… I won’t give general examples, I will just tell you about myself; in my mind I believe so much in liberal values and ideas, but at the same time, there are these conservative forces at the very back of my mind that like to manifest themselves from time to time. Keeping the balance from tipping is intricate!

The recent ’serious’ blogger meet-ups, as well as some of the issues being raised and discussed on blogs, have gotten me to think a lot about Jordan, politics, democracy, and the role that we are playing. I’m really enjoying the debate that’s instigating… and I certainly feel that I’ve learned an enormous lot over the past 8 months, since I started blogging.

The issues that have been put on the table time and time again are by no means resolved; the nature of the community, quality vs. quantity, anonymity, the Jordanian blogosphere… Where we’re headed is still not fully clear, but I think these are exciting times, and being part of this experience is… well… for lack of better expressive words…truly amazing!

(looks like high caffeine levels and being wide awake is not necessarily synchronous with a well-functioning and inspired brain ;p )

Al- Shaqa’iq; Highlighting Role Models, and Changing Culture

Remember our first grade school syllabus, where “Baba works outside” and “mama works in the kitchen“? “Bassem plays” and “Rabab helps mama“?

For years and years, the education system helped to plant these stereotypes of gender roles in the minds of children! But, it looks like there’s hope for this to change…

As part of the Palestinian and Jordan Education Initiatives, we [kidz online] are launching our women’s empowerment and career planning curriculum into 1,500 schools in the West Bank and Gaza as well as 100 Discovery schools in Jordan. The video series highlights successful women from various Middle Eastern countries encouraging young girls to stay in school and strive for careers. The videos also encourage men to be positive role models, providing the support women will need to increase gender equality throughout the region.

Each episode profiles women in interesting career tracks. They discuss the many facets of their jobs, the requisite skills and training, their accomplishments, and the challenges they overcame. They discuss the ways in which being female has influenced their success, as well as the role of the men in their lives and their family support systems.

Check out the episodes and read more about the profilees from Jordan.

NO to a Culture of Death

As an update to my previous post, here are some pictures from the vigil in Gaza…

Thank you to my friend Ibrahem for sharing them.

Read about it in Al-Ayyam newspaper.

And here’s a picture from Belfast

Read the MERYAN statement

While we’re at it, I thought I’d share this interesting article I came across via Athena at Terrorism Unveiled. It’s by Geneva-based Jordanian Zaid Nabulsi. In his conclusion he says:

Standing speechless in the middle of that disturbing, turbulent sea of emotions, I realized that each single murdered soul is an unspeakable calamity in itself. It dawned on me that whether it is in Amman, Baghdad, Jenin, Tel Aviv, Riyadh, Gaza, Sharm El Sheikh, London, Casablanca, Madrid, Bali, Istanbul, New York or anywhere else, for every human casualty there is always an inconsolable family who is as human as all of us and whose lives will never be the same again because some demented individual thought that his God is better than theirs.

MERYAN; lighting a candle and taking a stand

I got this feeling I cannot describe while reading emails from friends in Baghdad, Ramallah, Bethlehem, Gaza, Beirut, and Belfast about the candle vigils that we all organized as the MERYAN; the Middle East Regional Youth Action Network, all synchronized at the same time, in the same spirit, to denounce not only the bombings in Amman, but all the bloodshed, violence, and terrorism that’s taking place in our region.

When the bombings took place here in Amman, it was a shock to all MERYANers, mostly because to them Amman was the safe place that made it possible for a group of active youth from Iraq, Palestine, Lebanon, as well as Jordan to meet again after they participated in the International Youth Parliament (IYP) in Sydney in July 2004, through the Quaker Service and KAFD. One of the ideas for an action project proposed at the IYP by a Jordanian participant was to set up some kind of a network of active youth in our region. Amman became the meeting point, and it was here last august that the group was expanded, a vision was drafted and it all became more tangible.

Our group vision of the MERYAN is a network of young people and youth organizations that starts in Lebanon, Jordan, Iraq, and Palestine and seeks to build bridges across all borders that divide our youth, drawing its uniqueness from the diversity of its members that is rooted in their lived realities/experiences. The MERYAN seeks to build and strengthen relations between them and to reach a larger segment of youth.

After the bombings, we all wanted to take some sort of action to express our feelings against the killing of all those innocent civilians in each of our countries, and we decided to hold candle vigils or silent marches at the same time, and to state what we as a youth group completely reject and what values we call for.

Here in Amman, we agreed that we would do the candle vigil in front of the Radisson SAS at 5:00 PM on Thursday the 17th, but until Tuesday (15th), it had completely slipped our minds that we need to get official permission. The point was brought up on Tuesday night, we started discussing it and trying to make arrangements on Wednesday… there was no way we could let it go and not carry it out! It was a crazy last-minute effort… the King Abdullah Fund for Development agreed to be the official umbrella through which we could request permission from the mayor; we went to them Thursday morning, got the letter signed, took it to the mayor of Amman, explained the whole idea to his office manager, sat waiting… and then within 15 minutes they gave us the ok! I was so happy and grateful at how helpful everyone was… and got out of that office at 12:30 with one big concern; can we get enough people in time?? It was a frantic effort with countless phone calls and messages, and faxes and calls to some newspapers and agencies as well!! But WE DID IT! Around 40 people came, we distributed the statement that all of us in the MERYAN group had drafted together, and explained that while we were standing there at the stairs of the Radisson SAS holding these candles, we were not alone, the same stand with the same statement was taking place in Lebanon, Palestine, Iraq, and Northern Ireland…

It felt beautiful, because most of the young people present there are those whom I’ve always felt inspired by, proactive, aware, and involved. It was cozy but very genuine and very heartfelt.

Most importantly, it felt great to make it happen in such a limited period of time… a reminder that we have the ability to mobilize people and take action if we really believe in it!

We weren’t certain our friends in Iraq would be able organize something similar, because of the very difficult situation, so it was amazing to know that they got together in spite of everything, and held a vigil on the rooftop of their NGO; the Iraqi Al-Amal Association.

The group in Beirut got together in front of the Jordanian embassy amidst very tight security measures. Here’s a bit of news on what they did on the Petra news Agency website. And here’s what our friend Nelly shared with us:

I personally felt all of you today. I felt what a wonderful group of people we are. I felt the presence of every one of you and I felt that what we did was for every one of us, no matter where we are. I felt we were doing this for Palestine, Iraq, Jordan, and of course Lebanon. I kept remembering you all, I was trying to imagine what it would be like if you were with us (physically..) This is our vision…our mission…

In Ramallah MERYANers organized a silent march in which 70 people participated, and in Bethlehem a vigil was held and brought together around 50. The group in Gaza held an event at the Ministry of Culture with a film, a musician playing Oud, candles, a mural to write comments on, and signatures. In Belfast a vigil was organized at the Student Union building near Queen’s University, bringing together 30 people, mostly Arab students, one of whom had lost her cousin in the Amman attacks. It was covered by the University Radio, and attended by the president of the student union.

I’m still waiting for the rest of the pictures, but here are the ones that have been shared so far…
(Amman, then Baghdad, and Bethlehem)

Today at 5:00 in front of the Radisson SAS

I know this is extremely short notice but I will post it anyways…

There will be a candle vigil and silent protest today in front of the Radisson SAS hotel. I know there have been many similar gatherings but what makes this one special is that it is a youth-led initiative taking place at the same time in Amman, Beirut, Gaza, the West Bank, and Belfast in memory of the victims of last week’s tragic bombings, and to say No to a culture that promotes death and destruction!

I will share all the details and the story of the group later, but for now… if you read this in time, please spread the word and be there;

Amman: In front of the Radisson SAS hotel

Gaza: At the French Cultural Center, in cooperation with the Jordanian embassy

Ramallah- Peaceful March from Kaykab Garden (opposite to Friends Boys School) to Manarah Square

Beirut: In front of the Jordanian embassy

Belfast: Student Union Building – Queen’s University

All at 5:00 PM in each city’s local time!

Reflections on University Protests

One of the reasons I was looking forward to Monday when we all went back to work and schools and universities after an exceptionally long and sad weekend, is because I was very curious and excited to see how the organized protests and demonstrations on campus would turn out, and what it would be like to be standing in the same march with the same slogans as the Islamic Current (i.e the IAF university arm). While I disagree with the IAF’s ideology and vision, I’ve always respected how greatly organized they are. During the four years I’ve spent at university, they were the only ones who march and protest anything; from a raise in tuition fees, to university policies, to assassination of Hamas leaders… they always went ahead with it against university regulations, and always clashed with the student affairs administration!

So come Monday, and you find contradicting announcements; one flyer with the Islamic Current calling for a demonstration “licensed by the blood of black Wednesday’s victims” at 11:00, and then another – full color – poster calling for a demonstration organized by the student council (backed by the administration) at 11:30. Go figure!! What a disappointment… the Islamists decided to organize their own thing and not be part of anything organized officially!! I dragged my friend along to go check out the demonstration at 11:00, to be utterly surprised at the small number of students… and then I caught a sight of the Dean of Student Affairs along with another official arguing (pretty much fighting) with the leader of this group (if I were a bit faster that would’ve made a great photo.) After a lot of yelling, the Islamists pushed on with their march, while the other demonstration was approaching from another direction. So the Dean’s assistant walks angrily to this other (student council) group and starts saying “get more students, get more students”… Well, he didn’t need to worry because this march was building up quickly whereas the Islamic Current’s remained small. (Check out the picture) To give them (the Islamists) credit though, I really liked the slogans they carried and what they were saying; patriotic and at the same time logical and to the point.

I remember this argument was made previously in one of Khalaf’s posts, where he said that the IAF supporters are a mere 16% of Jordanians, and I commented that from what I always saw at university, they were a lot more. When they participated in the student council elections two years ago they got 3 out of the 4 seats at the faculty of engineering, and got a total of 16 out of the 40 elected seats. But on Monday I realized that I was quite mistaken, and that the reason they always seemed to outnumber any other stream is because there was never any other organized stream to begin with!!

Just take a look at this other picture; I think the number of students in this demonstration is larger than any other that has taken place anywhere in Jordan in the aftermath of the tragic events.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if most of these were politically aware students! Imagine these thousands representing right-wingers, centrists, or leftists… socialists and capitalists, conservatives, liberals, or neo-liberals!! Imagine they were all students with independent critical thinking and a high degree of awareness and involvement!! Then we wouldn’t have to worry about that a true democratic process would yield a majority of fundamentalists, and then the government wouldn’t have to impose sanctions on anyone who ” justifies or defends ideas which feed and support violence and harm to innocent people“, because guess what, It’s not by imposing sanctions and applying a heavy arm that people with such beliefs change them.

Why is it that there’s this long history of mistrust and animosity between the university administration, and students representing the Islamic Brotherhood and fundamentalist Islamic currents? Isn’t it about time the administration realized that its policies of containment only served to make this current appear stronger, and gain some sympathy and popularity as the underdog or the brave opposition?! In an interview last month the University president said that it is dangerous to allow political parties to be active on campus. I think it is more dangerous not to! What is desperately needed is an education process that creates awareness and political understanding, and an environment that allows healthy debate between different ideologies or streams of thought. Personally what I saw at the demonstration was potential for students who are normally passive, apathetic, and reactive… to get organized, take initiative, and balance off the sole organized and politically mature group on campus, and if I dare say, in Jordan.

Little Angel

A turmoil of thoughts and emotions

So many thoughts and emotions to share… I only managed to get a few hours of sleep last night, and I spent the early morning hours reading comments and analysis on the tragic bombings, reflecting, writing, and responding to emails… never in my life would I have imagined that I’d have to send an email from Amman to friends abroad saying “don’t worry; my family, friends, and myself are all ok”…

But are we ok? Perhaps it coincided that none of our friends or relatives had a wedding at the Radisson SAS, the Hyatt, or the Days INN… it coincided that we were at home going about our daily business one quiet Wednesday evening in Amman, while operation Steel Curtain was inflicting massive destruction in the West of Iraq, political turmoil was close to tipping point in Syria, and violence and suffering continued in Palestine and Israel… Domestically, the vast majority were almost apathetic to changes and political developments, with the controversy surrounding the National Agenda and the rumors about change in the government or the Parliament. Winter was creeping in and people started feeling the impact of the rise in oil prices, which had been contributing to the government’s low popularity. Meanwhile, we were also reading constant news about huge multi-million dollar investments being pumped into Amman and Aqaba, we were reading about international conferences taking place every week, feeling excited about Amman becoming such a center of attraction in the region, yet a bit skeptical about how the impact of this is reaching those with average and below-average incomes. Amman was becoming home to so many paradoxes… yet we loved Amman so much, and we wanted to share that love with the world.

So it was Wednesday evening, and I was sitting in front of the PC, reading posts by Abu Aardvark and Khalaf, and warming up my fingers before hitting the keyboard with three titles to blog about; a new restaurant in Amman that I absolutely loved, pictures from the UJ campus and enjoying a conversation on the green lawn, and then reflections from an interview with a Jordanian entrepreneur and a remarkably inspiring woman… I also wanted to talk about some of the amazing young people around whom I feel a surge of positive energy and who make me realize that I have every right to feel enthusiastic about Jordan and its future…

And then… there was breaking news!!

…

There was shock, sadness, anger, prayers… there was anxiety, there was silence… so many feelings we weren’t prepared for and couldn’t quite comprehend.

We took to the streets to protest this grotesque act against our dearly beloved capital… to tell the world that we are against terror and terrorists, that this is not Islam, that we are strong and that Jordan will be a mountain in the face of those who target its stability and security. I was a bit disturbed by some of what I saw in the protests; at one point I felt some people thought we’re out celebrating Jordan’s victory in a football tournament, other moments I was very upset by what some guys where shouting, at their insensitivity towards our Iraqi brothers… but all in all, it felt so good to be with everyone in the streets of Amman, as Roba described it, old and young, men and women, rich and poor, toddlers and children… I felt a sense of solidarity, I felt a wave of reassurance!

Today, three days after the massacre, I can’t brush away the depression… I want those bricks in my chest to go away, but they’re just getting heavier. I was out with friends this morning, and I needed to cry so bad but I didn’t have any tears… I know that life will go on and that we will find resilience and strength, that we will continue to build Jordan with even more persistence, but I couldn’t put up with the small talk and the pretence that nothing happened! I didn’t want to hear about Batman Begins and about Fastlink’s Z-line offer… and at the same time, I didn’t want us to go into the repetitive discussions about the wedding tragedy and sharing the chain of people we know that leads to one of the victims… by no means am I saying that this is insignificant and that the human aspect isn’t the most brutal and heart-breaking, but I was really hoping that we can get beyond the discourse about heart-break and talk about what this really means, for us, and for Jordan…

Let’s not get over-emotional and idealistic and be in denial over some facts; I think Khalaf said it best in his post… and while we’re at it, I will just link to some of the articles and opinions that I felt deserve some pondering, and pause with the writing…

Ayman Safadi’s Editorial in Al-Ghad; “An issue of ideology, not security“
Abu Aardvark; First Thoughts, Arguing About Jordan

LA Times, Jordan US Ties
The Guardian; Jordan reaps benefits – and pays a price

I’m tired of waxed speech and pretentiousness! I’m so afraid that in a couple of weeks many people will just fall back into their apathetic attitudes! Yet we as youth in a country like Jordan cannot afford to be apathetic towards politics and ignorant about what goes on, we cannot afford to be reactive!!

I’ve always been a believer in the transition Jordan is undergoing, and I choose to believe in the development we’re trying to achieve, because really, what other choice do we have?

I could write forever, but I will pause, and go light a candle… Better to light a candle than curse the darkness, isn’t it?

Stand together for Jordan

Here are some pictures from today’s march

View more of the pictures I took today

Names of those killed and injured till now…

… in Al-Ghad this morning

3 Iraqis among those killed, 5 Iraqis injured

14 unidentified dead bodies

Among injured: German (4), Saudi, Egyptian, Swiss, and Indonesian

God Bless us all and help the victims of this atrocity!